


Haleth's Journey

by Azashenya



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 01:05:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azashenya/pseuds/Azashenya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the First Age of Middle Earth, Haleth of the Edain fights to lead her people to safety.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haleth's Journey

"Auntie Haleth."

Haleth looks up from the armor she is mending and looks at her brother's son. "Yes Haldan, what is it?"

"Why do we keep traveling west?" The boy's face is looking pinched, they've been being careful with their food, and it hasn't been enough for his growing frame.

"To escape the shadow of the mountains." It is the reply she has been giving everyone recently.

"Yes," says the boy impatiently. "But why west? Why not another way, why not south?"

The wind shakes the fragile, patched walls of the tent. Soon it too will have to be abandoned if they are to continue.

Haleth looks at him for a moment, seeing the child who has had to grow up too fast. "In the West there is a light, can you not feel it calling to you?" She speaks softly, her words will not reach outside the tent.

The boy shakes his head, his eyes big, he hasn't heard his aunt speak of this.

Haleth sighs and puts down her mending. She draws the boy to her and holds him in her lap as if he was her own child. She whispers softly in his ear. "The Eldar came from the West, or so the legends tell us. Nom, of legend, traveled far from the west before he first met our kin. They also say that in the far West dwell the gods, who the Eldar call the Valar. They dwell on a land, beyond a distant water, where the sun goes to rest and where there are no shadows. That is why we go west."

The child is resting his head on her shoulder and she continues to hold him, finding comfort in his small body. His trusting softness in her arms makes her wish that she had children of her own. It occurs to her that she should have done this earlier, should have held him. She had forgotten how much he must miss his parents.

She starts singing the little songs from her childhood. Her voice is rough but the child doesn't mind. They sit there as the light goes, two orphans on a journey.

===============

She watches the child as he walks in front of her, ready to catch if he stumbles. She's proud of him, proud of them all. None of the children should have had to face this. Few of the older ones are still alive, only a couple from her grandfather's generation. More of her father's and her own but mostly it is the children who have survived the attacks and the journey. Small bodies carrying loads that seem as big as them. The gangly limbs of teenagers, lean and hollow cheeked. There isn't enough food, they hunt what they can but it slows them down and is never enough.

Come evening meal Haleth will move around, talking, touching. She makes sure to speak with all of them, finds something to say. They are here because of her and she will not abandon them. They don't notice that she doesn't eat. She eats breakfast and a little during the day but the less she eats the more there is for the children. She has come to think of them as her own.

After they've eaten they all huddle together for warmth. The tents are long gone and the air is chill this close to the mountains. There is quiet competition among the younger children for space near the adults. There are still a few families, parents who have survived, and they are watched with envy by those who have lost all close kin. They set watches every night, this land is not safe. People disappear in the night and some mornings there has been one who will not wake again. When that happens they pause long enough to raise a rough burial mound before setting off west again.

On this journey she has seen her nephew become a man. His body is still that of a child and his chin is still smooth but his eyes are old. He reminds her a little of the Eldar she has met, those old eyes in a thin young face. He has taken over responsibility for some of the younger children, seeing they are fed, helping them keep up, telling them stories and comforting them when they cry for lost parents. Haleth notices him watching her sometimes, when she meets his gaze he smiles, she isn't sure why. Some evenings, when she is walking around, he will catch her and press food into her hands. He'll smile at her and watch her eat it. He's looking more like her twin, his father, the eyes and that smile, she misses her twin.

===========

Then there was the day when she could cajole them no further, the morning they refused to go on. It broke her heart, she knew there was a better place for them, they just had to find it. She looked at their familiar faces and felt the pain further partings would bring. She would beg, she would rant, she would convince them, but before she opened her mouth there was a hand on her arm, pulling her aside. She looked, it was Haldan.

At first he didn't say anything, just looked up at her with grey eyes, held her eyes with his. He didn't speak until her eyebrow raised in query. "We must choose our own paths."

It was something her father had told her and her brother, she hadn't realised that Haldar had told his son too. She stood there a moment, stunned, before her thought picked up again. She smiled at him and nodded before turning back. "Very well, if that is what you choose, then so be it." A whisper of relief travels through the crowd at her words. She turns away and walks to where she had left her pack, kneeling beside it to check the straps.

Footsteps approach behind her and a voice asks: "And you, Haleth, will you stay?"

She doesn't bother turning to face them. "No, I will go west." She stands up, lifting her pack and settling it across her back, ignoring the new whispers. Alone she walks west, through the trees of this new forest.

After a few minutes she stops and leans against the rough bark of a tree. Her heart is sore and the tears run freely down her face. She tries not to think of those she has left behind.

The rustle of leaves, snapping of twigs, she turns to see what approaches. Led by a child some have followed her. Haldan stands before her, looking up with her twin's eyes. "We choose your path."

==================

Haleth spends much of her time on patrol, helping to guard this border of Thingol's kingdom, keeping her people safe. But she is happiest when she is playing with the children. The children are always happy to see her, their love is uncomplicated. When she is with the adults she gets the feeling they are always watching her, as if they are afraid of her, the children aren't afraid.

She mentions this to Haldan, expecting him to laugh, instead he gives her an odd look.

"They are afraid. Afraid you will go west again. They watch you and wonder if they will have to pack again and follow."

She looks at him in surprise. "They wouldn't have to follow."

"No. But they would." He watches her and in his eyes is caution. He pauses before asking: "Will you go west again? Does it still call you?"

"It still calls." She sighs and looks out the door at the children playing in the sunlight. "But no, I'll go no further west."

He follows her gaze. "You should choose someone. Have children of your own."

She grimaces as she turns back to him, this is something she has thought of herself, many times. "Who would I choose? They all either fear me or follow me blindly, or both." There is pain and loneliness in her eyes.

"What of the Elda who visits?"

"No!" Her eyes flash fire and fury. "You forget yourself. He is Nom and the Eldar are not for the likes of us."

He ducks his head and pales at her anger. "Sorry Aunt."

She sighs again. "No, I should apologise. You were only trying to help." She steps forward and pulls him into an embrace, he's taller than her now.

==================

Weddings should be joyful occasions, and it is. Yet Haleth can't help noticing the gaps. Her brother should be here to see his son wed, the bride's parents should be here too. But none of the parents are here, all are dead. She says the simple words for them, the public recognition of their choice, and then the celebration begins.

 

The three of them live in one house for awhile, but Haleth doesn't find it comfortable. Their joy in each other reminds her of what she hasn't had. But mostly it's the way she is always deferred to. She knows that if she stays she, the maiden aunt, will be forced to run the house. She quietly makes plans for a small house of her own. She thinks carefully how to tell them, finally she realises that if she claims only selfish reasons they won't argue, she is right. Her new house is at the west end of the settlement.

==================

She's out on patrol when Haldan's first child is born. When she returns one of the children tells her and she goes straight to their house. Holding her first grand-nephew in her arms she can see he has her brother's eyes.

==================

As she gets older she spends more time with the children, playing or telling stories, and less time out on patrol. But she refuses to stop joining the patrols no matter how diplomatically they ask her. She gave her word the border would be protected and she'll hold that word in person as long as she can. She doesn't let herself see that the others spare attention to watch her that they should be directing to their own fighting.

==================

She hadn't seen the blow coming but when it hit she knew it was a bad one. She crumpled to the ground, her eyes still open, watching the fight around her. She couldn't feel the pain yet but she could feel herself getting weaker at an alarming rate. She saw the rest of her patrol hesitate when they saw her fall, unthinkingly she gathers enough of her strength to shout at them "Keep fighting!" It still feels odd the way they unthinkingly obey her. 

She continues to watch them as they kill the rest of the orcs, a few of them hunting down the ones that flee. No mercy will her people ever show to one of their kind. She can feel the weakness growing, a cold that is spreading up her limbs. They kneel down around her, their young faces worried. 

"Lady, hold on. We will help you." One of them tries to see her wound, she pushes him away with a weak hand.

"No," she whispers hoarsely." There is nothing..." She pauses to swallow carefully. There is a blackness at the edges of her vision, she tries to hold it off. "Tell Haldan ..... to look after my People." She looks into their faces one last time. There is unbelieving shock in their eyes, and the start of the pain of grief. Then the darkness takes her.


End file.
